The Secret Confessions of a Horny House Wife


More
January 18, 2009, 12:47 pm
Filed under: Birthday, blogosphere, love, writing | Tags: , , ,

bird1

Today is my 36th birthday.  Exactly one year ago today, on my 35th birthday, laden with lies, lust, confusion, and yearning, I first sat down at my desk and wrote you all my secrets.  

I wanted to tell someone that I was having an affair.  I wanted to rejoice in the passion.  I wanted to worry out loud that he didn’t love me.  I wanted to organize the chaos in my head and sort the fantasy from the reality.  But looking back now, I see that I had one even stronger, even more secret longing.  I wanted to write.   

I hadn’t written in fifteen years.  I was constantly writing in my head, but when I sat down at my computer and tried to commit those sentences to print, I always stopped myself.  I was afraid it would be too hard.  I was afraid it wouldn’t be good enough.  I was afraid it would hurt. 

Is there some connection between my association with writing hurting and my desire to be on the receiving end of sadistic sex?   Who knows. 

The thing that I didn’t see then, but am willing to admit now is that, more than I wanted love from Detective Curt and Qirky Ted; more than I wanted sex from Sergeant Shane and Valentine Dave; and even more than I wanted to be No-Nickname Mike’s sex slave; I wanted you to want me. 

I began this blog by telling you about how much I had been yearning for sex, and what it was like to finally get it.  But for me, writing this blog was about yearning to write, and finally doing it. 

I thank you for helping me.  I thank you for listening.  I thank you for being interested.  I thank you for commenting.  I thank you for being my true friends.  I thank you for giving me what a writer needs most in the world: readers. 

Today, for my birthday, I am giving myself a new blog.   I really mean it this time.  “The Real Life of a Woman” was a reaction.  It wasn’t about who I wanted to be.  It was about who I didn’t want to be anymore. 

The title of my new blog is “More

I once promised you this about “Secret Memoirs of a Horny Housewife”:  “You and I have a lot ahead of us.  I can see it all now.  It will be sexy.  It will be raw.  It will be 100% the real me.” 

I can’t make you that promise about “More.”  It might not be so sexy and so raw, but I am no longer quite so sexy or quite so raw.  I can, however, promise you that “More” will be 100% the real me, and I’m hoping the real me will be enough for both of us. 

I love you,

The Horny Housewife