The Secret Confessions of a Horny House Wife

HH, I’m not always on the job. Sometimes the job’s on me.

I do have a question though. Do you love . . . you?

Hmmm….So near and yet so…….far. The temptation to take you to task is certainly present. However, temptation is there to be denied, sometimes.

Watching with interest.

By the way, think Gable meets Bogart meets Cagney meets Flynn. Maybe a dash of Grant? I don’t know, we shall have to ask Constance won’t we? But the lighting effect is good.

Hmmm….Perhaps I meant Audrey Hepburn meets Attila the Hun! Goodness me Sweetie, what has got into you? Other than me and the bumpy glass article. (The answer had better be nothing).

Now you play nicely with little Miss H. She is a soft and gentle girl just like you are. Leave the rough stuff at home. Naughty girl.

But you know Little Miss, there may be more than a grain in what Constance says. Anyway you know it is sent with love and kisses.

OK, I’m backing away now, easy does it Little Miss, no gunplay ’til I get back to my immensely uncomfortable wooden chair, situated in the dark for goodness sake.

Mr. C. assures me that my foot is deep in my mouth, so I want to apologize for that. I’m counting on your intelligence on this one…”What makes you think you’re so special” does sound so aggressive and mean, but that’s not at all how I intended it. My point, poorly made, is that everyone worries they’ll never find that one person who has it all. We all struggle with that fear, but you must not let it prevent you from even trying. It breaks my heart to see a smart, sensual, sexy, fun, loving woman surrender to her fears. Sometimes you seem to worry that you are inadequate; other times you worry that everyone else is. I actually did the exact same thing you’ve been doing…my marriage was over, for all intents and purposes. I fell in love with someone else, and he made me feel alive, and I even convinced myself I couldn’t live without him. But I also knew in my heart that if stayed with him, it would be settling all over again, because we weren’t actually sexually compatible (we were BOTH submissive). So after that I did the whole on-line provocative flirting thing, and I had a fuck buddy…just a guy who turned me on and made me feel sexy. And it was ok. It was fun. It was exciting. And empty. I remember sitting at my kitchen table with my best friend, sobbing that I would always be alone. You know the rest. Met Mr. C., and my life has just been completely turned around. I guess it comes down to this: I think you need and want a Mr. C. of your own, but how are you ever going to find him if you stay with a husband you don’t love?

Again, my apologies if my comment hurt or upset. It was definitely not my intent.

love,
Constance

Dear HH,

I consider you a friend too, which is why I’m so very sorry that I upset you. I apologize again for doing that, and I hope you’ll believe that my intentions are good, but sometimes my ability to express myself adequately is very poor indeed.

I think that simply apologizing is probably the best thing I can do right now, and to say, again, that my intentions have been misunderstood, but that I accept the responsability for that. I have expressed some very complicated concepts in overly simplistic terms, badly, and for that I do apologize. If we could go out and have these conversations over a couple of margheritas (my treat) I think I’d be much better able to explain what in the hell I actually meant, you’d point out all of the errors in my sloppy logic, we’d flirt with a couple of guys at the bar, and in the end, we’d laugh it off through our tears.

HH, believe me, I’m sorry.

Sincerely,
Constance

wow. HH I’ve only been reading your blog for about a month but was addicted from the first day. I went back to the beginning & read them all. I’m a little sad that I actually caught up to the present as you obviously have other things to do besides keep me endlessly entertained by constant blogging. You have written everything I have wished and thought and griped about for my 8+ yr. marriage. I only have one friend who knows the “truth” about my other relationships, therefore, she hears all my endless whining, doubt, frustrations and excitement. The exchange between you and Constance over your last post was uncannily similar to the exchange my friend and I had this week. She is frustrated by my cowardice in following my bliss, thinks I am robbing everyone involved by not dealing with it outright and moving on and sinning on top of that. It hurt to hear that from her, although all she was doing was vocalizing the voice that is my conscience in my head. Still, it hurt. She knew it would. But I see where she stands, I agree with everything she says, yet I’m too afraid to make “the move.” You are not alone, it’s obvious we both have excellent friends who truly care about us, we just sometimes can’t bear to hear “the truth” repeated back to us. This blog is your therapy, not your trial. I forgave my friend, she forgives me, BFF and all that good stuff. Anyway, thanks for your blog and thanks for living a life eerily similar to my own (just way more exciting) and writing about it.I wish you nothing but the happiness we all deserve and more time in your day so you can keep the blogs coming. Constance, you are a very special friend to HH indeed, it’s clear you really do care about her & we’re lucky to have your voice here.