Filed under: blogosphere, writing | Tags: affaris, cheating, cheating wife, desperate housewives, divorce, horny, horny housewife, Links, love, marriage, sex
A few new links grace my blogroll today.
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,Wrote the Horny Housewife- Until I began Secret Confessions, I hadn’t written in many years. It felt so bad not to write. I think you can categorize people by what they were born to do. Something in their basic DNA drives every person to do one or two or three things. Categories include artists, builders, teachers, talkers, singers, mathematicians, lovers, and nurses, among others.
I’ve always been a writer, yet I spent years not writing. I felt like a bird who wasn’t singing. Like a hound who wasn’t hunting. Like a tiny black ant, walking every day past minute morsels of food and failing to heave them onto my back and bring them home to my colony. Every day I went to bed feeling I had left an essential task undone. It was writing.
But then I couldn’t not write. My extramarital affairs set my brain afire. My marriage was crumbling and I needed to make sense of it all. I began Secret Confessions of a Horny Housewife in January, on my 35th birthday, and I am a writer again.
Everything I write isn’t good, but I’ve finally processed that a person is a writer, not when what she writes is good, but when what she writes is written. So I have no uncertainty anymore. I am a writer because I write. That’s it. Sorry, big, scary, ugly, hairy Fear Monster. I win this one. You can have me back when I get on an airplane.
I’ve been writing this blog, of course, but I’ve been writing some fiction, as well. I began a play in 2004. From 2004 until this January, I had written about four pages. Since January I’ve written fifty more. I’ve also begun a novel for young readers, and I just began a creative writing class.
I’m going to post some of my fiction on my new blog, ,Wrote the Horny Housewife. The first story I’ve posted, “Peanut Butter Man,” was inspired by my relationship with Detective Curt. I hope you like it. I do.
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College Hooker Boy - His writing is raw, aching, and, best of all, horny. He is young, gay, handsome, living in Miami, and occasionally working as a paid escort. I was tempted to put his link in the “Sisters in Sex” section of my blogroll. That’s how delicious his blog is, but I was afraid he might find that insulting. (You remember that embarrassing incident with T4Toby.) I also like reading him because he inadvertently gives sex tips for girls. (Guys, we really are sometimes at a loss as to what to do with those balls of yours…) But check him out. You’ll find yourself addicted soon.
No Limits - WARNING – read this only when you have time to masturbate. The blogger is a woman living as a willing sex slave to a deliciously sadistic master. When I see she’s posted a new entry I quickly navigate away from her page until I am alone in the house and can slip my giant glue stick between my crotch and my office chair. I’m not kidding. Every one of her posts sends me back to my Married People Cheating Website, trawling for men with the keyword “dominant” in their profiles.
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I also want to thank all the bloggers on my blogroll. I enjoy every one of your blogs and read them religiously. I’m so moved, excited and fascinated by:
- Constance and Mr. C’s imminent encounter;
- Elisabeth’s beautiful, sorrowful, emotional roller coaster;
- Lankrypt’s new baby;
- Nicolasix’s new puppy;
- Always That Girl’s divorce;
- Married Kitty’s sex with (of all people!) her husband;
- Ginormous Boobs’ Grilled Cheeses;
- Globous and Theraputic Rambling’s new jobs;
- T4Toby’s angry, frustrated, liberal theories (just realized he’s not on my blogroll. I’ll have to fix that.);
- Brainiac’s sex life;
- Sara’s sex during pregnancy;
- Terra’s continuing struggle for mental and familial equalibrium;
- and Craig List Experiment’s dating life.
- Finally, The Bug House and PostSecret have nothing to do with sex, love, or politics, but they are so beautiful and poignant, I love them despite their lack of carnality.
Marissa and (especially) Joe, I miss you and hope to read you again soon.
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Does anyone else think it’s strange that the spell check for WordPress doesn’t know the words “blog,” “blogger,” “blogroll,” or “online?” Seems unfathomable, but perhaps there is poetry in the unfathomable. Now that I’m writing again, I try not to let poetry pass me by.
Filed under: Husband, Sergeant Shane, divorce, marriage, motherhood, sex with cops | Tags: affairs, cheating, divorce, horny, horny housewife, Housewife, limbo, love, marriage, milf
When last we left the Horny Housewife, she was hovering on the brink of divorce. Her husband was house hunting out of state, and our horny friend was feeling uncertain about her decision to divorce because of the emotional anguish it would cause her three-year old son. That was hell.
A couple of weeks ago, however, my husband sat down with me at the kitchen table. He told me that he loves me, doesn’t want our marriage to end, and is willing to do whatever is required to save our relationship and our family.
My immediate response: disappointment. I had used up so many years of unending effort believing in our love and our relationship. Then, it had required so many months of misery and depression to finally except that there was no hope for us. Husband’s pronouncement that he wanted to begin that exhausting cycle again filled me with dread. But I didn’t feel like I could just say “no.” Welcome to Limbo.
He offered that we could go to therapy together as much as I liked. He promised he would sleep every night in bed with me. (We’ve never slept in the same room.) I said that was nice, but I countered that I wouldn’t go for it unless he gave up television, at least until 10:30 at night when our son went to sleep. He hesitated, but promised.
So far, he’s stuck to his promises. And little by little, almost against my will, I’ve begun to enjoy husband’s company again. But every time I laugh at one of his jokes I also mentally cringe at the fact that I am becoming attached to him again. Every time he does something nice for me, like brings me a glass of water when I’m sick in bed with the flu (an action of this kind was previously unheard of), I tell myself not to get too used to this kind of treatment. Every time my son calls for a “Family Hug” and I’m enjoying the feeling of the three of us with our arms around each other, I simultaneously argue to myself that 3-year old Spencer and I will be just fine if it’s eventually just the two of us.
So I’m in the land of the in-between: part of me is hopeful; part of me feels trapped and pessimistic. But I’ve decided to just give it some time, and see how I feel in a few months. I’m very aware of the fact that, even if my husband keeps his part of the bargain, I don’t want to continue my marriage if my heart isn’t in it.
But there is also the problem about what to do about my extramarital men. I’ve decide to just put them on hold. It’s kind of a natural time to do that anyway. Ted was really the only one left, come to think of it, and he’s in a state of in between with his marriage, too.
But here’s the problem. Can I ever be a one-man woman again? In between meal snacks are so easy. You walk past your kitchen cabinet. You peek inside and pick up a handsome twinkie (maybe one with a badge and a gun). Can I resist the junk food? Should I try? Maybe I look a little better with a few extra pounds on me. Even if, as Lankyrpt wrote, they go right to my hips.
I mean really, if Sergeant Shane e-mailed me tomorrow that he wanted to fuck me with his huge penis while he slapped me in the face could I resist? I don’t know. And maybe that’s enough of a reason to get a divorce. Or maybe it isn’t. I don’t know.
I’ll give myself a few months to think about it. Meanwhile, if you need me, I’ll be in Limbo.
Filed under: Husband, Sergeant Shane, Valentine Dave | Tags: affairs, cheating wife, divorce, horny, horny housewife, Housewife, love, marriage
A recent comment from someone who calls himself Charlie X:
“You feel sick because you are sick. You revel in the tales of these pitiful assignations, but fail to see yourself as you really are; a sad, small creature. Pity.”
The funny thing is that this is exactly the kind of comment I was expecting when I began this blog. Accusing, condemning, hateful. My happy surprise was the supportive appreciation and warm friendships I found here instead.
But when I received this comment last week, it sounded familiar for a couple of reasons. First, it is the reproach I often lately attack myself with.
Second, it sounded to me like it was written by either Valentine Dave or Sergeant Shane. The language sounds like Shane, but the feelings sound like Dave.
Also, Charlie X could be read Charlie Ex. I think it’s Dave. Or, maybe Charlie X is someone else’s ex, and all exes just sound the same.
What say you, Charlie X? Who are you?
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Lots and lots going on here: strange flu, which finally seems to be gone; unbelievable, revolutionary promises and actions from husband; and a new dog. I need to process it all before I can write about it. But to my blogo-friends, thank you for your warm support. I’m still reading you, and I’ll blog again in a few days when I’m less confused and feeling better.
HH
